turning thirty

they say it's cool
you look so young
but inside i feel so old,
a creep

they say the future stands before you
but all i see is debt
an estranged family
and selfish friends

they promised a career, money
they want a bride, kids, money
i don't have anything
i am lost

turning thirty is like giving birth
to yourself
only that nobody smiles
and you look suspicious

if you like younger women you are a perv
if you like younger men you are a perv and a fag
if you don't like anyone at all
you are deeply disturbed

pills won't cut it
counseling is not worth its price
turning thirty is like giving birth to a monster
and dying at the same time


jeff simmons (Providence, RI, 1978)